anatomy of a cry

X has a number of very specific cries that he employs depending on his needs. He has a short, ill-tempered hungry cry. It is loud and to the point and punctuated by sharp, guttural clicking sounds. His tired cry is a pitiful, vibrato squall and is easily identified by confirming various visual cues -crossed and angry eyes in particular signal utter exhaustion. He has a sad cry that nearly breaks my heart as his eyes fill with tears and he lets out a meandering, melodic, lamentable wail. And then there is the scared cry, heard last evening for the very first time.

X had fallen asleep in his vibro-swing in the late evening and we decided we'd watch a movie. M turned out the lights in the living room and we retired to the bedroom and settled in. I was concerned that I wouldn't be able to hear X should he awake, so we kept the volume on low. Suddenly, a few minutes into the film I hear a terrified howl from the next room. We both bolted in and M scooped him out of the swing to comfort him as he continued to panic -his voice a high and terrible keen. I promptly snatched him from M's hands (instinct trumping the politic at this point) and held him to my breast and cooed and shushed softly in his ear, letting him know it was okay and that we were sorry to have left him alone. My eyes filled with tears as I watched his little face contort in terror.

Once he was calmed, I mildly scolded M for turning out the lights. We figured he grew frightened when he woke up alone in a dark room for the very first time, his parents no where to be seen. I hope to hear less of the scared and sad cries in the years to come, but that is probably wishful thinking. Perhaps in time I will come to feel it less severely when X is sad or terrified -but more than likely those intensely empathetic emotions are just a part of being a mother. God save me!