I have decided that I need to revoke X's "good baby" status. He has been a complete and utter wreck for the last week or so and it doesn't seem to be letting up. He has developed the delightful nightly habit of wailing uncontrollably from as early as 5pm until as late as midnight. M and I take turns bouncing him and patting him and burping him and doing whatever we can to calm him, but usually to no avail. From his behaviors, the fits appear to be the manifestation of a grand trifecta of annoyances -he is starving, and gassy and exhausted all at the same magical time. And so I offer him the breast, but he is so pissed off about his troubled tummy he refuses it. I try to soothe his stomach by patting him and he screams in hunger. It is usually just a matter of waiting it out until he is so tired of screaming he passes out from sheer exhaustion.
I turned to the wise internet for guidance and was tipped off to an old European remedy called "gripe water" for colicky babies (is my baby really colicky? -god save me). It seemed harmless enough -made up of a mild combination of fennel and chamomile and a little sucrose for sweetener. I bought a bottle and tried forcing it on him for a few nights running. It is hard to say if it works except that it gives me some sense of control, like I am actually doing something to fix this problem, even if I am in fact not doing anything helpful at all. It pains me greatly to administer the stuff to the poor babe (the nurse gave me tips on how to get him to swallow it). When the liquid squirts into his throat he looks at me with terrified eyes - like I am pulling off his fingernails or something horrible like that. Most of it dribbles out the side of his mouth. It tastes fine, but probably nothing like breast milk. In any case, it is impossible to say whether or not it is helping because things change so quickly from day to day. Just as quickly as he moved into this awful fussy phase he will probably move out of it.
I remember the advice that an old friend gave when he heard we were having a baby: "Remember, everything is a phase. If you don't like how your baby is behaving this week, just wait a week and he will have moved on to something new." I meditated on this as I rocked X while he squalled noisily in my ear. Everything I've read indicates that babies "grow out" of colic by 3-4 months. While that isn't the most encouraging news I've had all day (6 fucking more weeks of this!? -really?!?)
The nurse confirmed that I may have to suffer a few more weeks of it, possibly months. She agreed that it "sounds like colic" --which is among the more meaningless statements I have ever heard, because what is colic anyhow? One web definition reads thus: "colic -The name given to long, unexplained bouts of crying in an infant -- usually beginning between the second and third weeks of life and disappearing by about the 12th. About 20 percent of babies are colicky." Wow. Super helpful. She reminded me that I should be glad he doesn't scream day and night like truly colicky babies do (good lord!). She did give me one good bit of advice for how to get him to feed when he refuses during these interminable fussy episodes (which I must admit is the most frustrating thing ever). She said that I should lay him skin-to-skin on my chest and let him "find his way to the breast by himself." She said that "even babies like to do things for themselves."
It seemed strange, but I tried it at the earliest opportunity and it worked like a charm. It worked so well that X has now decided on this as his preferred method of breast feeding. M and I joke that he must "like it on top" -and indeed it does feel a little like being man-handled, especially since his head is still pretty floppy and so he bashes it against me until he lines up his little fish-mouth with the nipple. I usually have to hold his head up so he doesn't suffocate on my breast. It is all pretty ridiculous (photographic evidence provided).
(Writing this several weeks on, I must commend my old friend for his wisdom. A little over one week later and the fussy evenings had all but ceased and X is now returned to his formerly cheery and amiable demeanor. I wonder what's next?)
1 comment:
all of this sounds remarkably like Dalia's early days. maybe she wasn't so bad after all...I later remembered her peacefully sitting in lots of folks arms, particularly mine without actually needing to move much. I guess Fussy Happy Hour won out in the memory department. perhaps I should rehash my journal.
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