after the fall

Judging from this photo, it doesn't seem all that far from the bed to the floor, does it? -oh, but to hear X cry when he hit the floor it must have felt like a mile. Yes, he fell off the bed for the first time & it was terrible.

We just removed the frame a few days ago to get the whole thing a little closer to the ground, but we'd left the box spring for lack of a place to store it in the meantime (housing it in the garage is not an option, lest we find it inhabited my mice a year from now when we finally want it back). It didn't seem that hazardous, and I guess I underestimated my baby's determination to explore his environment at all costs.

He was napping in the center of the queen-sized bed. I was attuned to his monitor, as usual, listening for signs of him stirring. I heard him make a little peep, but did not hurry in as quickly as I should have --I just had never known him to wake suddenly & high-tail it for the exit. He usually just laid there, waiting patiently for my attention. Oh, but I was wrong this time! I entered the room just in time to watch him tumble face-first off the bed onto the floor. I gasped: "oh no! -Xavier!" just as his little body crumpled to the ground. I scooped him up in haste & he began to wail uncontrollably in my arms, tears streaming down his scared little face. I hugged him to me tightly & apologized profusely for letting such an awful thing happen to him. I realized as I clutched him to my chest that I should probably look him over & check him for signs of serious injury, but I didn't want to cease comforting him. I wanted him to know how very sorry I was.

He cried hard for several eternal minutes, but it was probably over quicker than it seemed to me at the time. And once it was over, it was over -like it never happened. We laid down together on the bed & he smiled up at me, looked curiously around the room, poked his fingers in my mouth while I pretended to eat them -all completely X-ish behaviors. I didn't see any knots or welts or abrasions. He was perfectly himself.

I, however, was shaken to the core. And as I laid there with him after the fall, as he babbled & smiled long after his tears had dried, I shed a few myself -- for all the fright of that moment, but also for all the sadness of the many falls & bruises & broken hearts to come. Oh, I am certain he will bounce back freely enough from each & every one, but will I?