Everyone thinks it is totally crazy that I haven't left my baby yet. Yes, I know -he'll be 6 months old in a few days, but no -I have not spent more than a few minutes out of his sight. Oh, there were a couple morning there where M has watched him so I could get a few hours of shut-eye. He's bundled him into the jogging stroller and taken him to the park while I lounged beneath the covers. But that doesn't seem to count. What everyone thinks I should do it leave him, willingly, wakefully, like get in the car and go to the store without him.
Mostly I think they are concerned for my sanity. As though it must be such a major style-cramper to have a baby up my ass at all times. I know people for whom this life would not be suitable, but really, truly -I am okay with it.
I think part of it is personality. I am really not all that free-wheeling of a person. I love being partnered, I love being with friends and in community. I don't feel a strong, intense urge to rush off into the wilderness alone, or to explore gigantic cities solo. The one time I spent a month in Scotland away from M, I spent the entire time wishing he were there with me, that he could see what I was seeing, because somehow it just wasn't as pleasurable to experience it all alone.
So, I suppose I could go off alone and leave my little family for a few hours. But why? -because someone else thinks I should? -because I am going to turn X into a crazy little mama's boy? - I somehow doubt I will be going to college with him and nursing him to sleep in the dorms....
1 comment:
Well, of course you'll do whatever is right for you. But I think it would be useful to leave to show you that he will survive without you and to give M. the chance to take charge. The longer he goes without being in charge, I think the harder it will be for him to have the confidence and to take on the responsibility.
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