For a long while now, I have hankered after an opportunity to hold a baby -ya know, sort of give it a test run, see how it plays. I haven't held a single solitary infant since my visit to my sister's home and to my friend C's, so all the while I've been pregnant, babies have remained an elusive, distance mystery. I have seen them on the street, in strollers and carriers or cradled in their mother's arms. I've ogled them at the doctor's office waiting room, wondering how weird it would be to ask a new mom and a complete stranger for a chance to test drive her baby. I never got up the nerve, because really: that's creepy.
But today, oh glorious day, my friend B invited us over for dinner along with another friend who brought along her 2 month-old infant son. He was dozing in his car seat when I arrived, but his mom gladly woke him so that I could hold him. He blinked and peered up at me, his eyes deep blue, watery and confused. His weight felt unfamiliar in my arms, and holding him was a bit of an art since I had to maneuver his little body around the one that is growing inside of me. My boy must have sensed the competition, because all the while I held this other little one, his kicks and punches persisted. It was as though he were saying: "hey! -what about me!" The baby was a smiling, sweet, charming thing and didn't cry the entire duration of our visit. I bounced him on my lap and blew puffs of air into his face to watch him gasp and giggle. His eyes met mine with an intense smiling un-self-consciousness that thrilled me. Babies have no shame. I handed the baby off to M, who gingerly took him in his hands and tried to make him comfortable., M has probably held 3 babies total in all of his life, so it was sweet to watch him try to wrangle this one.
On the way home, I asked M if he was ready. "Can you believe we're going to have one of those in our house, in our lives, day and night without end, in less than 120 days?" It still seems completely unreal. He nodded and insisted that it will be a fun adventure, although not without its challenges. "I hope we get one like that -smiling and happy instead of the fussy, whiny, monster sort" I said with a sigh. But I suppose we shall love him either way.
2 comments:
Ah, they're all fussy whiny monsters, at the least convenient times. But they all also have good twins that surface at unexpected times :-)
Today at the gym a woman was interacting with River. She was past the young child years and it was so clear she wanted to touch him, to pick him up. I wished she would have just asked. It's only so long that people have babies in their lives. I'd be happy to let people feel the memories again by holding him for a few minutes.
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