a debriefing

I have missed writing these last few days, but I have found it difficult to get back into the swing of it after having been away so long. I returned from my travels on Sunday afternoon and have been trying to get my bearings ever since. My thoughts seem to grow cloudier the longer I spend away from the page. I feel muddled and strange and scarcely able to lay a finger on any single thought as it passes.

Since I first began this blog, I have realized that writing is a means of fleshing out my life, giving weight, density and meaning to something that typically seems so fleeting, airy and empty. The practice of writing each day forces me to slow down and attend to details of my life and the world around me. When I am away from the written page, I disappear.

I used to joke, "How can I know what I think until I see what I say?" The quip was a way of laughing off a penchant for constant chatter in my youth, it provided an excuse for so often processing my emotions out loud. I think this still holds true, except I have replaced chatter with the clicking of the keyboard. The task of tapping out these silly missives and sending them into the void brings me closer in contact with the world around me, with the thoughts and feelings that flit through my mind when I interact with that world, and it makes the world just a little more real, solid, and earthly.

I will get back to it. Just give me a minute or two to catch my breath...