insonmia

I read the other day that during pregnancy one's sleep patterns begin to alter "in preparation" for the arrival of the baby. Less deep, settled sleep is experienced and instead nights are spent tossing and turning in a state of light, restless, and dream-addled REM sleep. So, here I sit at 3:48AM wondering why in the hell I need to "prepare myself" for a future that involves little sleep? I was hoping in fact to possibly store up a little deep sleep in some sort of secret reserve and draw upon it in times of need. Add to my confusion and frustration the fact that I am bone, dead tired and have never needed the unconsciousness of sleep more than I do these days. I decided not to fight it. Maybe my blog will get more attention (as a reasonable side effect).

And I will say the dreams are most fantastic. I dreamed tonight that I was up at the cabin of my childhood in Northern Minnesota. Somehow, in the strange way of dreams, the bathroom had a window that overlooked a child's play area, so while showering you looked down upon a magical land filled with colorful toys, and verdant flowers and children chattering and running wild. It was rather awkward to be showering in full view of a bunch of kids. At one point in the dream, someone asked M and I about the pregnancy, and I made the snide comment that "fatherhood is theoretical." M laughed, but the person who had asked the question looked confused and uncomfortable with our bizarre candor. I confess I have no idea where that came from, because in my case M's fatherhood is fairly well established. Ah, dreams...

Okay. I have knocked off a giant glass of water, which will likely complicate my efforts to drift away, but I am compelled to try for sleep anyhow. Good night.